Hope Mississippi
A bimonthly podcast educating Mississippians about the needs of fellow citizens, encouraging residents to work together to change the trajectory of our families and children, and sharing success stories.
Hope Mississippi
Martie Kwasny | Accessibility Is More Than a Ramp
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Most of us think disability is something “over there” — until life brings it through our own front door.
In this episode of Hope Mississippi, Dan Hall sits in for Justice Dawn Bean for a powerful conversation with Martie Kwasny, a longtime advocate for Mississippi’s disability community who is also navigating a deeply personal season of caregiving for her 90-year-old mother.
Together, they talk about the loneliness and isolation so many people with disabilities and caregivers carry, the gap between basic accessibility and true belonging, and why churches and neighbors can’t outsource compassion to professionals.
Marty also shares how Quiet Waters is helping caregivers find rest, connection, and hope, while challenging communities to make room at the table before someone has to ask.
This is an honest, timely conversation about disability, dignity, caregiving, and what it really means to walk with people.
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Join us for new episodes on the 1st and 15th of each month as we continue sharing stories of transformation from across Mississippi. Each story reminds us that when we contribute our unique gifts, Mississippi rises together.
Hope Mississippi's Mission: The sobering reality remains: one in four Mississippi children lives in poverty, and one in five experiences food insecurity. These statistics aren't just numbers—they're our collective challenge. Through these conversations, we discover that Mississippi's transformation occurs through individual commitments to mentor, encourage, and be present for others. The small acts of hope accumulate into the broader "miracles" we celebrate.
Welcome, Guest, And Hard Week
SPEAKER_04I'm Dawn Bean, and this podcast is a space for conversation, collaboration, and calling.
SPEAKER_01Hello, and welcome to Hope, Mississippi. This is Dan Hall. I have the privilege of sitting in for Justice Dawn Bean, who is your regular host. And as some of you know, our friendship goes way back. And I have the opportunity to share this platform with her. Today I have a very special guest, not only a dear friend, but someone that I highly respect who works with me in the disability space, serving the disability community in the state of Mississippi, Marty Kwosny. Marty, it is so good to have you with us today. Thank you for joining us.
SPEAKER_05It's good to be with you, Dan. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01You uh deal with disability in a lot of ways. And on a very personal note, you're in the middle of your own challenges in an area that people don't always equate with disability. Tell me a little bit about being in Louisiana today.
SPEAKER_05Louisiana taking care of my own mom, 90 years old, fell and broke her femur this weekend and fighting for her life. She's a fighter. It's amazing.
SPEAKER_01Added to that, you have the challenge that your mother unfortunately is suffering from increasing Alzheimer's.
SPEAKER_05Yes. Definitely increasing Alzheimer's and heart congestion failure. Her heart is working at the capacity of 30% presently, but she's doing well. She keeps asking why she's in the hospital and what happened. And I think forgetting the fact that she fell and broke her femur is a good thing right now.
SPEAKER_01I think you were the one that taught me that most people don't realize that most people are going to age into disability.
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_01That is an interesting thought.
SPEAKER_05There's no way around it if you live life long enough. If you die unexpectedly, you may be spared from disability. But as we serve disability disorders and diseases in a lifespan, you will face one, if not all three.
SPEAKER_01So if I were a journalist, I would say that I did a great job in not burying the lead. So let me back up and build up into our conversation here. You and I have been friends for just under probably a little more than nine years.
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_01My injury, for anyone that may have heard my story in August of 2016, I was injured and ended up as a full quadriplegic, no movement below my neck. And I was in Houston for six months and returned back here. And one of the first visitors that I had was this woman who barged into my home with a stack of books and wanting to welcome me to the disability community. And that was you. Tell me a little bit about your relationship and serving the disability community in our meeting. What brought you to me? What what put me on your radar?
SPEAKER_05No, it was a friend, Lee, that reached out to Bob Chrysler and they wanted me to meet you. They were concerned about where you were. They knew that you were in the rawness of your suffering with disability
Aging Into Disability And Definitions
SPEAKER_05and in hopes that as a friend I would point you to Christ and bring you the hope. It was an honor to meet you at that time. It's been a privilege to walk forward with you, Dan.
SPEAKER_01The disability community is a large community. What are the statistics for us in Mississippi?
SPEAKER_05Within the driving radius of our respite center that we plan to build, you have 3.6 million in a six-hour driving radius. Back in 2005, we had 47,000 touched by disability in the Metro Jackson area. So I don't know the stats outside of those. The numbers are astounding. I do know that in the state of Mississippi, Alabama, and Louisiana, you're one in three with disability instead of the national average.
SPEAKER_01A third of the population would fall under the categorization of disability. Describe to me what disability is.
SPEAKER_05Disability in itself is without ability. But disability in these statistics will consist of the diseases and disorders as well as the physical disabilities, IDD, intellectual disability. It does encompass all three.
SPEAKER_01For the layperson who's not familiar with these identifiers and so forth, give me a little bit more of a layman's term. What are we talking about here? What are we discussing in terms of a larger stroke?
SPEAKER_05It can be a lack of cognitive awareness, which is intellectual disability or cognitive disability. It can be the physical disability, and that could be quadriplegia as well as paraplegia. It can be the diseases that fall into that disability limiting the ability of the body. It can be mental disorders that will fall into disability. I love to speak from a layman's term, even though I have a professional degree in severe and profound education and clinical site. For the church, in layman's terms, I like to diffuse the fear that disability is without ability, disease is without ease, and disorder is without order. When we look at it that way, we're able to enter into the suffering of the one before us, seeing the person and not the diagnosis. So often we get afraid.
SPEAKER_01That's effective. I was 52 years old before I became aware of the disability community, which is astounding because I've been in Mississippi most of my adult life. And for it to be one-third of the population, it's pretty amazing that I would not even be aware that it was in fact what would be called a community, a large aggregate in some ways, because the community, in and of itself, is not a community. In and of itself, it's often very isolating and people are very much alone. When you talk about diseases, you're talking about everything from somebody with a degenerative disease, like ALS or Lou Gehrig's disease, to Parkinson's, something that might be more related to age, down to something that we might more traditionally consider a disability, like spino bifida or some kind of a birth disease. And so I think a lot of my confusion was when you talk about disability, I don't know that I really had a category for it, but it was always something far away. I didn't look at somebody in our church with dementia as having a disability. I just saw them as growing old. The unfortunate event of growing old. Someone who mentally can't hold their own in a room with normally abled persons. Is that a fair way to put that?
SPEAKER_05It is. So your Parkinson's would fall under the disease rather than disability. Disability is strictly meaning without ability and often with disability, it's permanent. You can't change it. It's not going to change.
SPEAKER_01So it's different than a hip replacement.
SPEAKER_05Most definitely. You of all people know that.
SPEAKER_01I had a hip replacement a year and a half before my disability kind of wasted that energy.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Let's circle back around to something a little more personal. What led you into serving this community? Why does it matter?
SPEAKER_05That's a good question, Dan. I taught. I moved to Houston, Texas after graduating at LSU, and I taught for five years.
SPEAKER_01And you just had to get LSU in here, didn't you? You just had to get LSU in here.
Isolation And Why Marty Serves
SPEAKER_05Yes. Dan, I realized that these families were in crisis. They did not know what the next day held. They were in and out of the hospital. And even though I loved teaching and I knew that what we were doing was worthwhile, our families needed more. As you said, they were so isolated. And many of them would tell you the isolation is far greater than the disability. Combating that isolation is tough. Many of them had reverted to alcohol and drugs, trying to just live life. They didn't have meaning in life. That sent me on for my counseling degree.
SPEAKER_01To be clear, so in serving in the church, you saw these needs?
SPEAKER_05No, no, no, no. I saw these needs as a teacher.
SPEAKER_01As a teacher. And that's what led you back to the uh higher degree.
SPEAKER_05Yes. And let me back up. While I was finishing at LSU, I'll get it in one more time. As I was finishing, I worked at Children's Hospital in New Orleans. While being there, I had a profoundly handicapped nephew. That's what we call it back in the day, born in Colorado Springs, uh, Colorado, that never went home to see the nursery that his mother worked on for six months. He was air meddled to New Orleans, and that was their life going forward. It was a career change, it was a life change. In the seven months of the nine months that he lived, he remained in the hospital. It was a crisis that my family had the means financially. They were exasperated, our means. We were a large family. We didn't have enough people to care for that one little baby. The church came behind us and they were incredible. They gave my brother and sister-in-law a parsonage to stay in. They fed the family, they helped in the crisis. It was amazing. Fourteen years after getting my degree, I sat in a church in Louisiana and thought these families were being cared for. When the Lord moved me and my husband to Jackson, Mississippi, we had a founding elder that came to us and said, Are you here to serve all the families?
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_05He had an adult child with disability. He shared with us that even though this is a healthy, loving church, they've never been able to worship together as a family. He never could go to Sunday school. It wasn't until then that my two worlds, the professionalism and church, collided. I had them separated. To my demise, I realized the statistics in our area and basically looked around and said, where are these people? I'd see them at Walmart, I'd see them at Sam's, but I never saw them in the church. Then I heard that it was the number one unreached people group in our nation. And I could understand that. They weren't in church. Dan, this broke my heart when I realized that only Christ could bring meaning into this level of suffering. And we needed to get out there and give them the hope that only Christ can give in any one of our futures, but definitely in the future of one in despair. It's been amazing.
SPEAKER_01So have you seen individuals or families touched? I it's very easy for me to fill up all our whole time with my own story, which is not the purpose of today. But when you look across the landscape of nearly 22 years that you've been serving in this community.
SPEAKER_05Twenty-three.
SPEAKER_01To put it in perspective, that's nearly a quarter of a century. It's easy for numbers just to begin to disappear. You think about a quarter of a century. That's a long time.
SPEAKER_05I've never thought of it that way. You're aging me.
SPEAKER_01I don't mean to be aging you because um apparently you started when you were two years old.
SPEAKER_05Of course.
SPEAKER_01Where have you seen that hope change people?
SPEAKER_05I've seen it in our community and I've seen it one by one.
SPEAKER_01So give me one.
SPEAKER_05Emily Catazaro met her in the hospital after the birth of a baby that was profoundly challenged and on a ventilator. Um, wasn't given much hope. And she was an atheist. Walked alongside of her for a while, heard her story, became relational, got to know her. I'm telling you what, that child outlived all the statistics that any professional gave that child. Little Christopher is going unbelievably forward intellectually, physically, playing soccer, doing all the things that no one gave him hope for. And it was that little boy that turned her heart to Christ, an atheist, not an agnostic. She was definite that she was an atheist.
SPEAKER_01Because how could a good God allow a child to be born this way?
SPEAKER_05And now she is a believer in Christ. She could not make sense
Church Inclusion And Unreached Families
SPEAKER_05of that at all. Little Christopher just started giving her the gospel, giving her hope for a future. She did the study of Ruth.
SPEAKER_01So the disabled child who understood God's grace better than his able-bodied mother was able to express hope in his disability.
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_01That converted the heart of his mother.
SPEAKER_05His very own mom.
SPEAKER_01That's astounding.
SPEAKER_05Who was professing atheist. We've seen this at Methodist Specialty Center as we've made hospital visits there where in the rawness of their suffering, they're longing to hear truth, speak truth, know truth. And it's just meeting people one by one, hearing their story, giving them an opportunity to share from their heart, not being afraid to ask, hey, what put you in the chair?
SPEAKER_01Why is loneliness such an intense issue? We've heard this before. I've heard several people in our community say the only real disability is loneliness. Why is loneliness such an intense reality in my community?
SPEAKER_05Why does the scripture say it is not good for man to be alone? The scripture talks about it all the time. When you're isolated and you're not in fellowship with others, it's excruciatingly hard.
SPEAKER_01Why is the disability community face such high levels of loneliness and aloneness?
SPEAKER_05You can answer that better than I can.
SPEAKER_01I can, but I'm giving you a chance to answer it.
SPEAKER_05I think people are afraid to enter into the suffering of one another. I think they don't feel equipped. So therefore they put up all the barriers and they have convinced themselves that this is for the professionals. And our families, Dan, our individuals have more professionals than any man would ever want in a lifetime. And they have them telling them what they should do, could do, shouldn't do. But what they long for, and correct me if I'm wrong, they long for someone to own this walk with them. They long for someone to enter in and say, Hey, I'll walk with you. I don't know where we're going or where we might end up, but I'll walk with you.
SPEAKER_01My personal experience has been that I was very independent. I could go anywhere I wanted to go, do whatever I wanted to do, whatever time I wanted to do it. I had very little limitations and had hardly any restraints whatsoever. So if I wanted to get up at three o'clock, I'd get up at three o'clock and go somewhere. If I wanted to drive somewhere, I could drive somewhere, I could go eat anywhere I wanted to eat. And after my injury, I found that places that were so-called ADA compliant, today I had a meeting, and uh they said, oh yeah, it's accessible. And I drove up and there was hardly any parking. It was over to the side. It was a brand new building. It's uh right here in town. It's a brand new building. It met all the ADA codes, but did not meet my ability to get in easily. So I had to park to the side. I had to go through the rain. It was not near the door. I had to go up a ramp that they built after they had already built the parking lot. I had to do a hard right, a hard turn to the left, and then a hard turn to the right, and hope I didn't fall off the sidewalk in the process, and all of it through the rain. People think if you got blue lines and you got a ramp, then it's accessible. My favorite Mexican restaurant I could not go to because it had a four-inch lip going into it, and they did not have a ramp. They're not required to do that necessarily, and if they are, it's just easier to pay the fine than to spend the thousands of dollars it takes to create the lift. I found that when I can pull up and get into the door, I can't get to the restaurant. The tables are too close together. People are sitting with the chairs out. Accessibility is not about a blue line and a ramp. Accessibility is can I live on the same level that you can? And probably two-thirds of the buildings, more than that in Jackson, and then maybe a half to two-thirds, even in the suburban areas where they're supposed to be built up and current. It leaves me at home a lot, leaves my wife home a lot. Secondly, people don't invite you to go as often because it is more difficult. You're limited in what you can do and how often you can get out and the extress that it puts on a caregiver. So loneliness is significant because it's not just about someone coming by to see you, it's about living daily life.
SPEAKER_05And Dan, you're talking about all the blue lines and the physical aspect, and that's exhausting. Can you imagine the parents that are actually afraid of how their kids may or might be misinterpreted in public?
SPEAKER_01Absolutely.
SPEAKER_05This is exhausting, but the accessibility of the heart is even more exhausting. We have parents that are so afraid to go out in public that their kids are going to be misinterpreted with behavior that they'll end up in jail or they'll be assaulted or misconstrued on just communication. It's hard. That isolation brings it to a whole nother level.
SPEAKER_01So, how do we bring hope to that community? If our goal is to bring hope, where is that hope? And how do those who may be listening today, how do they find that hope?
SPEAKER_05I think they find that hope, and this is what I love about what we're doing. We come along Christ-honoring
Hope Stories From Hospital Rooms
SPEAKER_05churches to educate, equip, and create awareness. I think they find that hope in Christ, and they find that hope in his church, in his community. We as a church, capital C, have the ability to enter into the lives of those that are suffering because of the gospel, and we can provide the hope that only Christ can give them. This is owning it as a church. This is the church showing forth his heart of mercy, and that is why we will have a never-ending job encouraging his people, diffusing the fear that often keeps them from entering into that suffering and enabling them to enter in at a level that is filled with mercy and grace. That in itself will give them hope for a future. It's modeling the gospel in word, not only in word, but in deed.
SPEAKER_01That's really good. Thank you. I would add to that that from a disability standpoint, at some point you have to choose. God can send you all the people in the world. At some point, you have to be able to accept. That grace. And sometimes accepting that grace, it is very hard. I was talking with somebody about it today, a very good friend of mine who's aging, and in his aging, basically had to say to him, you have a choice between your ego that you don't need a cane and you don't need help walking, or that you're going to fall and hit your head and start a brain hemorrhage. You're going to have to decide how you're going to handle this new disability that you're facing that it has simply to do with growing older. I think the hardest thing I had to do was, okay, now I'm 52 and I'm crippled. I can't move. I have no access. I can't scratch my own nose when it's itching. That is embarrassing. It's hard to ask someone to wipe your nose. It's I I often thought, what if I didn't have the ability to communicate? I think about some of these children and adults who can't communicate what they feel. I remember watching a documentary one time called Far From the Tree. It was actually a homosexual who was born in a conservative family who said, I was not the child my parents wanted. So he sent out an email and just said, How many of you do not feel like you are the child that your parent wanted and intended? And what he did not expect was the massive volume of emails that came back, many of them with disability. I feel like I disappointed my parents by being born disabled. I feel like I was a disappointment because I couldn't be that child that ran and played or dressed up or played with dolls or whatever it was because I was not able to do that. And one child actually wrote, they finally found an instrument that allowed this child who had this profound communication disability. He didn't communicate, he couldn't talk. But they finally got him a spelling board, and one of the first sentences he spelled was, I'm really smart, and I don't know how to tell you that I am. Because there was no ability to communicate. And all of a sudden, there was this hope, I can communicate, somebody can understand me. It's life-changing when you realize somebody gets it, when somebody speaks that language and they understand it. So when you talk about you use phrases that that can sound very profound but may not make a lot of sense to people, entering into someone's suffering doesn't mean that you are going to have to feel their pain. It simply means listening long enough to know what they're experiencing in a way that you don't explain it away, but you just accept it as a reality. I don't need a pep talk. I just need someone to help me get to the restaurant. I remember a friend of mine that uh one of the first things he did was took me, he said, we're gonna go to a Mexican restaurant and we're gonna do whatever it takes to get you in there and get you some salsa. And he did. He just barged up in there, he just started moving tables without permission, started shifting them around to get me through that. Now that was embarrassing. You already feel like you're in the middle of the limelight. But when he started making room for me, so I argued great about being an advocate.
Loneliness And Real Accessibility Barriers
SPEAKER_01What does it mean to be an advocate? And I've watched you be an advocate to a lot of people. I've watched you be an advocate to parents with children with disability, to spouses, even children whose parents are disabled and how to serve them. I've watched you take people who've adopted children with disability. You've introduced me to several families who choose to enter into the disability world, whether it's disability, disorder, or disease, and I understand how you distinguish that, but for us lay people, it's just disability. All of us just kind of this inability to interact with the world on a basis that we understand. And I've watched you over and over again inspire people to befriend. Personally, for me, when you use the phrase entering into suffering, it's always an intimidating phrase because I don't consider myself a suffering. I consider myself as just having to face challenges that some people don't understand. And so entering into suffering is a daunting phrase to me, but befriending people who just need a friend to show up, to just be available, to do what it takes. I'm fortunate to have those people in my life that just show up. And you've been that way to many, many people. Tell me a little bit about Quiet Waters. You're you're moving beyond passing out books and showing up at the hospital.
SPEAKER_05Quiet Waters is providing service to those families with disabilities like none other. Not only are we addressing the 3Ds of suffering, disease, disability, and disorders, but we are providing for these 3Ds through retreats, respites, and restoration. Retreats are more discipleship programs for individuals and families touched by the 3Ds. Respite is what we have learned in the longevity of this ministry that is the number one need in our nation. And with respite, the focus is on the caregiver. Even though it's a place of belonging and fun for individuals that are touched by disability, it is about the caregiver, providing a break for the caregiver. This may be a mom just needing a weekend to close her eyes and not have caretakers in her home. It would be a place that would give overnight care for those individuals. Right now we're providing day respite during the holidays and the summer vacations for our families. And it has proven that the need of $3.6 million and a six-hour driving radius is there. We have a waiting list for everything we do.
SPEAKER_01Let's bring it down to something practical. You just got through with two weeks of family retreat. What does that mean?
SPEAKER_05We just got through two weeks of respite, but one week of family retreat. Family retreat was family serving families. We had individuals and 61 family units serving 53 families touched by disabilities. So on campus, we had just under 500 people serving one another, most beautiful event. You look across campus and you can't tell who's disabled and who's not disabled. It is the most beautiful picture of 1 Corinthians 12, where you have one body with many members. And Dan, as we talk about the isolation, as we talk about the difficulty of disability, as you're you're speaking of, only God can bring meaning into suffering like this. Only God can give us that meaning to our suffering. We're seeing that in the body of Christ. As the scripture talks about the body that knowledge is good, wisdom is great. It says get understanding. The only way we can get understanding into the life of the one that's before us is when we're in it for the long haul, when we're committed and we're walking side by side with one another. That's what I mean when I say enter into the suffering of one another. It's getting that understanding. And I've been doing this for over 40 years. I'll be the first to tell you I am not an expert. All my professionalism is good, it gives me knowledge, it gives me wisdom. But the only way I get understanding is to walk side by side. And every person with a disability is just one person with a disability. If you meet one child with autism, you've only met one child with autism. It's astounding how God has uniquely made every one of us, and our journeys in life are so vastly different. This is where I say labels are for soup cans, they're not for people. God has uniquely designed His people as a saint,
How Churches Show Mercy Practically
SPEAKER_05a sinner, and a sufferer. We're all three. In Christ, we're all three. I know you struggle with you say, you know, I'm not really suffering. Yes, you are. We all suffer in life. This side of heaven, as a believer, we will be called to suffer. We're not going to be above our master. There's good in us. We are saintly, right? Because of Christ. And we're all sinners in need of the great physician, in need of the great shepherd, to shepherd us through the journeys that are before us. Because we're all wayward sheep. This is what it means to seek understanding. And this is what we're trying to promote as we come alongside of Christ honoring churches to provide for the needs in our community. The people that are outside the city gate. Jesus went outside the city gate to minister to this marginalized population. That's what we're trying to do at Quiet Waters. And it's astounding to see the need that's out there. Our waiting lists for respite and retreats are unbelievable. We had to turn away families and volunteers this year. The numbers are unbelievable.
SPEAKER_01This is really good. As we get ready to wrap up here, can you give me one person or one family where you have seen relationship and partnering and advocacy change someone's life?
SPEAKER_05Yes. There is a family in our area, and guys, I know of more than five families with three kids with disability. This particular family had three children, and all three were diagnosed with autism. Mom went on a downward spiral, started drinking, felt as though God had asked too much. It wasn't until she came to church and was embraced by the body of Christ, given hope for a future, you know, understood that this journey is not mine. It can be used of God. And I mean, she has been walking with us for over a decade now and loves to share her testimony. She did not have hope until the Lord redirected her and put her in the community of Christ, in the body that actually embraced her family. The power of his church, when we act as his church, is unbelievable in giving hope to our communities.
SPEAKER_01I had the privilege recently in the last year of meeting a pastor in our area who uh not only adopted a child which addresses the orphan issue, but went to China to do it, which addresses the international issue, and chose someone with spina bifida. So you've got a pastor who is pursuing intentionally how do I make a difference? And that child, I think, if if I remember right, spent through 18 different operations, and she's only 12 or 13 years old now. Here is a guy that when I was talking to him, he said, I don't want our church just to be accessible. I want it to be extravagantly accessible. That's right. And he goes, We're actually going through
Quiet Waters Respite And Retreats
SPEAKER_01and determining if our doors are too heavy for someone to be able to push open if they're too weak to do that, and renovating their entire church in order for doorways to not be difficult. And I think when people really understand what it means to engage a community, it's transformational.
SPEAKER_05It's transformational and it's an oxymoron to our culture. This is light and darkness because we are valuing the very population that the world says cannot contribute back to society. And they are so mistaken. Scripturally, in our weaknesses, he is made strong. In First Corinthians 12, this is what it's talking about with them being indispensable to the body, it's changing us who we are as a body, reflecting more of his heart of mercy. It's an oxymoron to our society.
SPEAKER_01That's good. Marty, thank you so much for taking some time with us. If someone wants to know more about what you're doing, can you give them a website?
SPEAKER_05Of course. It is quietwaters-ms.org.
SPEAKER_01QuietWaters-ms for Mississippi.org. There is so much there that Marty could share with you about what they're doing and to be involved. Thank you so much. You are a hero to me and to many, many others.
SPEAKER_05Thank you, Dan.
SPEAKER_01Thank you for being a voice and advocate for our community. Thanks for joining us today. God bless you, and I hope to see you soon.
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