Hope Mississippi
A bimonthly podcast educating Mississippians about the needs of fellow citizens, encouraging residents to work together to change the trajectory of our families and children, and sharing success stories.
Hope Mississippi
When Systems See People, Hope Rises
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The numbers are stark—one in four kids in poverty, one in five facing food insecurity—but statistics don’t tell you how hope returns. Lorie’s story does. Meet a former nurse who lost custody of her daughter, lived unsheltered for years, and spiraled into meth‑induced delusion. When hope seemed lost, an auto burglary charge became the unlikely doorway to drug court, where structure, compassion, and accountability helped her reclaim stability, voice, and purpose.
We walk through each step with Lorie: growing up as the eldest in a single‑parent home, an untreated ADHD diagnosis that came too late, and a teen eating disorder that morphed into alcoholism. When background checks stalled her nursing license, stress and shame compounded. She turned to meth to outrun alcohol, then to the streets where danger and access fed the cycle.
A compassionate judge paused before shipping her off to prison and asked: Would you try drug court? That invitation changed everything. Housing support, clear expectations, regular testing, and a bench that listened turned punishment into a pathway. Lorie even faced a relapse with honesty, and the court responded with consequences and continued care rather than abandonment.
We talk candidly about CPS', “reasonable efforts,” and how trauma‑informed courts can protect children while preserving a parent’s humanity. Lorie names what works: judges who see people, programs that treat addiction as a disease, and communities that stay close enough to hold you accountable and cheer you on.
Today Lorie is working in private care, appealing for nursing license restoration, and advocating for others to get the help she once lacked. If you care about addiction recovery, drug court, child welfare, and second chances in Mississippi, this conversation offers practical insight and a real reason to believe.
If this moved you, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a review telling us what hope looks like in your community. Your voice helps more stories like Lorie’s be heard.
Join us for new episodes on the 1st and 15th of each month as we continue sharing stories of transformation from across Mississippi. Each story reminds us that when we contribute our unique gifts, Mississippi rises together.
Hope Mississippi's Mission: The sobering reality remains: one in four Mississippi children lives in poverty, and one in five experiences food insecurity. These statistics aren't just numbers—they're our collective challenge. Through these conversations, we discover that Mississippi's transformation occurs through individual commitments to mentor, encourage, and be present for others. The small acts of hope accumulate into the broader "miracles" we celebrate.
One in four kids live in poverty. One in five are food deprived.
SPEAKER_01Build collaborations and build hope with those who are struggling.
SPEAKER_00Hope, Mississippi.
SPEAKER_03Hello, and welcome to another edition of Hope, Mississippi. I'm Dawn Beam, and I'm excited today to share with you another guest, but I wanted to reflect back. We've had several episodes from the Mississippi Bar Convention, and I hope that you took from that that lawyers and judges are all about sharing hope. And that's why I'm so excited to have my next guest here today. A couple of days ago, I was reminded from a judge of how judges work with folks that have addiction issues, and we have the opportunity to encourage them to make wise choices. A judge was telling me back when he was practicing, he had a client that was before me, Crystal Meth mom, and she was able to defeat that habit because of the work the court did with her, allowed her to continue to have supervised contact with the kids on a regular basis and gave her every reason to overcome addiction. And so with that in mind, I have Lori Sanford here with me today. Hey Lori, how are you doing? I'm doing well, thank you. Well, I was so inspired by your story on Facebook. I said, I have got to meet this woman. So we just met a few minutes ago. We've been corresponding, but we've just met a few minutes ago, and you are just a lovely person.
SPEAKER_02Oh, thank you. You are too. I appreciate that.
SPEAKER_03Well, thank you. Well, tell me a little bit about yourself. Are you from Sumerall? She just fought the traffic for homecoming in Summerall. So um if we both seem a little worn out, it's because we've been fighting traffic.
SPEAKER_02Yes, and it so I got was driving here and it took me back because I was raised in a little town called Seminary. It's not too far from here. Um between seminary and pedal. So um the homecoming parade going through and all uh just reminded me. Well, you know, I played basketball here, like against Summerall, of course. I was a bulldog.
Lori’s Upbringing And Early Pressure
SPEAKER_03Well, you know, we're big rivals. I know it. I remember. And so you're from seminary. Um tell me a little bit about your upbringing and your family.
SPEAKER_02I w have three brothers. My mom raised me kind of as a single mom, uh, raised all of us. Um, my brothers and I have different fathers. My father was off in a different state. Uh well, he was in Washington, D.C. And my mom was a teen mom, and she raised us, I believe, the best she could.
SPEAKER_03Well, you know, that's really a challenge being a single mom. I was uh divorced when my kids were little and to try to be mom and dad and to get the homework done and the uh make sure you've got food and all those things. I can r remember even the tooth fairy. When he came, it was like, oh my God, I need to have a little cash for the tooth fairy. So it it is a challenge. So that's how you grew up was in uh a home where um all of you didn't have the same dad. Right. What about your education? You said you played basketball, but tell us a little bit about that.
Eating Disorder To Alcohol Dependence
SPEAKER_02So early on, I I was a pretty smart kid. I was athletic, so but I was the oldest. I was the oldest, and then my three brothers were behind me. So I did kind of a am I the sister or the mama, you know, helping mom being single and everything. But I balanced that in childhood, I guess, and I ended up not graduating, even with like honor roll and all that in those youthful years. I found out as an adult that I'm ADHD, and so I didn't get it treated until after I overcame addiction. And so whenever it really exacerbated for me, I just I fell short and I just dropped out of like school because I missed too many days. I develop I had a it started out because I have substance use disorder. It started out originally exacerbating around the age of 15, and I had an eating disorder. It star that's how it started.
SPEAKER_03Why do you think you felt that pressure about weight?
SPEAKER_02My mom was really young when she had me. We never connected the way mothers and daughters and you know, things like that did. My father was off literally saving the world, and he was in the military all of his l adult life, and then he came back. He's from Waynesboro, Mississippi, but he came back, he started the junior ROTC and then went back to DC to create a training software program for Homeland Security in the Department of Justice in the event of natural disaster and counterterrorism. So literally that's what he was doing, and then my mom was here, and we just, you know, she's trying to raise four kids and just was that kind of life. Single life, hard.
SPEAKER_03So you started out with an eating disorder. Yes. And then how did you progress with that?
SPEAKER_02So I started the eating disorder around the same the time that all that they say exacerbates, you know, 15, 16. And then I d just started missing school because I got obsessed with eating and I had bulimia. So that became an obsession. And then when I didn't finish school, I was gonna have to go back in the 12th grade and redo it because of the days I said there's no way. And then I started drinking and I found that drinking helped me from binging and purging, I guess, if you was that okay to say that.
SPEAKER_03So you just fitted one addiction or up to another addiction.
SPEAKER_02And it went to alcohol, and I struggled in from probably around 19 to when I started using crystal meth. I started using crystal meth, well, I dibble dabbled throughout the years because I was an alcoholic and a bad alcoholic. And I lost my daughter due to alcoholism, safety issues, passing out, being alcohol poison, and having to go to the emergency room.
SPEAKER_03I'm so sorry.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And um, but I never I tried to go to treatment a couple of times. It wasn't the right treatment for me.
SPEAKER_03Did you have anybody in your life to turn to to help help you at that time?
DUIs, Jail, And Nursing School Hurdles
SPEAKER_02Not anybody who was educated. My father died when a year after 9-11. Um I actually ended up getting three DUIs from the age of 19 within the five year span in Forest County. And so I got house rest. That's one of the treatment times that I went to treatment the first. Um, Judge Hilfrich, I'm sure you know him.
SPEAKER_03I do know Judge Helfrich, he's retired recently.
SPEAKER_02Yes, he court ordered me to treatment and then I had to do house rest because it was three DUIs within five of years, five years. So I ended up doing time at Rankin County in the early 2000s. And when I got out of there, I stayed sober while I was in jail, prison. So during that time, I was like, I gotta do something with my life. You know, like I didn't have any kids at that time. So I got out and decided to go to nursing school. Completed nursing school, but I ended up being pregnant. I found out I was pregnant, a relapse, and a one-night stand. I had tried to have children. By this time, I'm 36 years old. I had tried to have children for so long and wasn't able. And so uh I made a decision to be a single mom. Started nursing school and did really well throughout the pregnancy, no drinking, started back drinking again. Um, after I graduated nursing school, I wasn't able to immediately get a nursing license because of the three DUIs that I had on my record. Um, they weren't really showing up, but when you do a health care background check, it will show up. They did allow me to go ahead and get a nursing license, but during that time from the time that I graduated nursing school to the time that I was actually licensed, I started drinking. I was stressed, I thought I did all this for nothing. Now I've got a child, I can't take care of her. And I had never been properly treated and taught how to recover either, you know.
SPEAKER_03Can we talk about your support systems? Because, you know, folks don't understand a lot of uh of folks, they have family members that that can stand in the gap and help. Did you your dad by that time was had he passed away? So what family did you have to turn to?
SPEAKER_02My family dynamics by this time was my my my mother and I were estranged and we had been since I was in junior high school. My stepparents raised me from that point to whatever. They both were my stepparent. My stepfather had remarried, and so they I started calling them using the word parents when they weren't, but they were at least trying, you know, and it was just it was some kind of family network. They're not educated on um this disease, weren't at the time. The only thing they knew was that it was a choice. They just thought it was a choice, and you know, and I wanted to live like that. It was hard on everybody. We didn't know what to do, and we just didn't do anything. It was back in the day when you just live with it.
Losing Custody And Family Strain
SPEAKER_03So where did you go from there? You said that you went from alcohol to crystal meth.
SPEAKER_02When I lost my daughter to that, and I couldn't stay sober, I started crystal meth. It just kept me from wanting to drink. That's why I started it. And it was right after I just had had a blackout incident with my daughter, just about to get her back from CPS, from that safety issue, and um was started drinking.
SPEAKER_03Can we stop there just a minute? Because I'm thinking from a judge's standpoint, I I used to sit in that chair and um it would just break my heart to see mothers and dads that had addiction problems. And one thing that I learned, I I worked really hard with some of the first ladies in our state to bring resources to pregnant moms because unfortunately we let them get a a baby and then we s take the baby away, and what happens is that mother suffers additional trauma. And so if we can put that child in a a safe environment, but let that mother have a relationship, we don't increase the trauma, we give her hope. And this is about hope rising. So let's talk from your standpoint. You've been there, done that. Let's talk to judges, to family members who have children or relatives struggling with addiction. What would you tell them to help that person overcome?
Alcohol To Meth And System Gaps
SPEAKER_02To not just say when you get sober or you go go yourself and do it. Where I'm at in wellness now, I would say I really wish somebody would have forced me to do it, like drug court did. You know what I'm saying? Like the same sort of program because I came from the type of family dynamics and the background where we weren't educated on how to I was, but I was the sick one, you know. So like I was a nurse by then, you know, but I was the sick one and had always been. I would say if the I wish they could do some type of program the way they do the drug court for those of us who have don't have the luxury of having all the resources and the knowledge and which I think they're doing better now, but my parents came back from that time where you just that was my choice. You know. We had enough, you know.
SPEAKER_03So tell me how you got to drug court.
SPEAKER_02When I blacked out and CPS finally took my child, um I was hanging on by a thread my you know uh two years I worked with CPS and then blacked out when I had her on a weekend visit.
SPEAKER_03What was your experience with CPS, just while we're talking about that?
SPEAKER_02Um, my experience with CPS was that's a double-edged sword question, you know, but Well, were they helpful? Not to me. It felt like that it was more about let's get this case done and over with and just out of the way.
SPEAKER_03And you didn't have the family to help you.
SPEAKER_02No, and in fact, my CPS worker said, Lori, you don't need enemies with a family like yours.
SPEAKER_03Well, the law says that they have to use reasonable efforts to help you get your child back. So did they help you with any type of drug um rehabilitation or anything like that?
SPEAKER_02No. Okay. And in fact, the judge that I went in front of, he was like, Why is she even here in the first place? He's retired now. I can't think of his last name. Oh, that's not Forrest County.
SPEAKER_03Let's not call his name, okay. Okay.
SPEAKER_02Okay. By the time I got in front of him, I had already just blacked out with my child there, locked her out, and she's three, four.
Trauma-Informed Courts And Change
Homelessness And Delusion On The Streets
SPEAKER_03Can I tell you this? We've come a long way in Mississippi in the last 10 years. We have made an effort to educate all youth court judges about trauma. Once you understand trauma and that that oftentimes is driving that addiction and underlying emotional issues, such as an unstable upbringing and things, then we see helping drug-addicted parents in a different way. So I hope that we are making progress because the law says, and and we as moral individuals should help those that have not been given what we've been given. So you finally get before a drug court. Tell me about it. And I know Judge Harrel is gonna love your story.
SPEAKER_02I love Judge Harrell. When I lost, finally lost my daughter. I started using meth just over the just did not care. Like just I lost my limb. You lost hope. Yeah, I did. And so, oh, I was thinking back, sorry. And so by this time, everybody's done with me. I'm smoking meth, crystal meth amphetamine, and lose everything just goes down fast. Lose the house, lose the job, lose the money, and now I'm homeless. Lost my car, had already been repossessed, um, lost my job with the hospital way before, but um that was over a DUI that I had gotten and reported. But when I got out of treatment for alcohol, I started using meth and it just went downhill. And so I was homeless for about five years, really on the streets, homeless, like living in Hattiesburg? In Hattiesburg, yes. When I used, I walked and I couldn't stop walking. I've had two hip surgeries, my feet are deformed from all of that use and walking, but I wasn't breaking laws, you know, so they couldn't do anything. Like the county and the city, HPD and things like that would lock me up when it was hot, really cold or freezing, you know, like whatever. But I was usually acting out. I had when I got in very serious situations, like, and then of course, over years they would know like something's wrong, you know.
SPEAKER_03So So Lori not only is homeless, but you don't have a job, so you don't have food, so you were just hit or miss.
SPEAKER_02I was out of my mind. Like I was in walking around in constant delusion, just constant delusion. I went from thought I was a superhero to I thought I was training for the FBI, and then I was in a reality show, a game survival game, you know, like but the whole but I wasn't missing that myth, though. And when you're out on the streets homeless, it's very it's there, which is probably one of the reasons that I just stayed there, you know, um, because everybody has it. It's just easy to get with homeless people. Because I mean you don't want to go to sleep.
SPEAKER_03So how did you finally get to drug court?
Arrest, Auto Burglary, And A Turning Point
SPEAKER_02So about five years in, I was going through a delusion that I thought this truck belonged to one of my friends, and it was at the exact same place that he would always pick me up. He'd ride through and I'd be walking, and he would say, You want to ride? And I would say, Yeah, and go. But it it was parked there. And it's about lunchtime, and I had just had hip surgery not long before that. I got hit by a car on 49. Yeah. So I'm in it, and back during that little piece of time, and it just happened to be in Lamar County. It was on Mayfair, like those areas, you know, it's Hattiesburg, but it's Lamar County or whatever. And so I'm sitting in his truck, I'm cleaning it out. I'm not stealing or doing anything. I'm making piles everywhere, you know. Just I was in this time period where I thought that if I cleaned out, it brought this people in that I wanted, like the spirits or something. It was I'm telling you, it it I was out there.
SPEAKER_03They say crystal meth isn't like nothing else.
SPEAKER_02I was out there, and that's where I wanted to be because I couldn't die. Like I've been hit by cars, I've been, you know, and nothing ever happened. But anyway, so the guy came out on his lunch break, and I'm just a homeless, nasty looking woman, you know, is going through his vehicle with all his property out in piles, you know. Just I'll never forget the look on his face, like how violated and how like, oh my god, you know, like when he saw me, I'll never forget that. But it gave me an autoburglary charge, which is probably something they were trying to do. It helped you. It did.
Judges Who Offered Drug Court
SPEAKER_03So you end up before Judge Harold at drug court.
SPEAKER_02I did.
SPEAKER_03Tell us about your experience with drug court. I love it.
Structure, Care, And Early Wins
SPEAKER_02I I did too. Like drug court really did change my life. Like it really did. And and and it's from the very beginning, like, I wasn't used to people. Well, it all initially started. I was on my way to prison, and Judge Touchstone was just about to send me. I had already been in because I just got a first violation of felony. So I got probation, but then I went right back out on the streets homeless, you know. And so, but I didn't pay my fines. I had to go before him. He let me go one time, then I got caught again. You know, they I did acting out in the streets or something like that. And so I got disorderly conduct, never got anything other than stuff like that until that auto burglary. I went back before him and he told me the first time he was like, if you come back before me, I'm gonna have to, you know, send you. I was like, yes, you know. And when I came back before him, he was just about, and he asked me, he was like, Lori, didn't I tell you? Like, and I said, Yes, sir. And I was ready to go. He started asking me, he asked me a few questions. And I remember his little face got red, and you know, like he was just trying to think, and I just answered them as honestly as I could about I started using, and I walked past there every day, and nobody ever came in there. I knew I was gonna fail a drug test, you know, so I just didn't even try. And I didn't have nowhere to live, and I've been walking around ever since. And he said, Would you be interested in trying drug court? Like nobody had approached me about drug court and all that time. And I just looked at him and like I didn't ask for it because by this time I'm so beat down, rejection, homeless, think like a wild animal, you know. So I would not have thought about drug court. But he did. You didn't think anybody cared. No, I didn't. And when he asked me that, I just I'll never forget how I felt. I lit up. And then when I went, they came and did the assessment, and then I um went in. And I from the very beginning, like they were worried about where I was gonna stay, and they had to make sure I got they found me a place, and I was just like, me? You know, like I couldn't believe it. And it just that initial feeling of somebody worried about where I was gonna sleep that night, you know what I mean? Was my first feeling was I'm gonna do whatever they asked me to do, and I'm gonna do my very best because they care about me. It just blossomed from there. Judge Harrell, like every time I spoke at uh my graduation in 2023, but every meeting I had with him, like I just learned something more. I just loved how he thought and the things that he would each one teach us with care, and I just wanted to be better because of him.
SPEAKER_03I've known Judge Touchstone and Judge Harrell for years before they were judges, and I will tell you they're just godly men that love people, and I know their hearts will be full of joy to hear your story. I look into your beautiful eyes, and I can't remember how you described yourself in that car, but it was wild. But right now you have a gorgeous smile and beautiful eyes, um, blue eyes and blind hair, and you just radiate. Tell me about that hope that you have today.
Relapse, Honesty, And Accountability
SPEAKER_02I never thought I would f graduate drug court, much less continue to stay sober. Like I started feeling life come again, you know. I started feeling like, okay, it were l it was little steps at first. At first, to be honest with you, the is the way they treated me, it made me at least want to do good while I was on drug court in the beginning. And it just over time, it just kept, okay, I'm gonna do this now. I'm going to well, I did relapse or re they call it reoccurrence now, six months in. And I had to g I had to go before Judge Harrell, and he asked me a series of questions. He already knew the answers, and fortunately, I answered them to the best of my knowledge because I don't feel like I would have graduated drug court had I not. And I didn't know that at the time, though. I just did. Just like Judge touched on when he said, I don't normally do this, but I'm not take I'm gonna take back that. I'm gonna send you, you know. And let's try, you know, if you're interested in drug court, you have that opportunity. Well, Judge Harold, he didn't tell me I was going like I you know, but I think that I don't know why he changed his mind that day. Somebody just said he did.
SPEAKER_03You know, um they say everybody needs somebody to care about them, and certainly you saw that in these judges. Are there other folks that along the way have been encouragers to you?
SPEAKER_02Oh yes. Casey, she was the officer. At the time we didn't have anybody in Lamar County. In the community, I don't know why. I think it started because of my story blew people away, like in the recovery community and in the drug court community, and they're all I had. Really, they were all I had, which might have been a good thing because they were able to shape me the way they were trained or educated to do the drug court, just the drug court without outside influence, and it worked. Feel like I was designed for that program. But the Moors, Mr. Moore, I cycle. I don't cycle as much as I used to, but that's good.
Mentors, Community, And Belonging
SPEAKER_03Well, that would touch him a lot because I know he has been so active in the area of addiction. Um having felt it himself and his family, so that is precious. Okay, I'm on team Lori too, okay, just to meet you and to be inspired by your sweet spirit. Tell me, this is hope-rising, and I see hope written all over your face. But tell me what the future holds for you.
SPEAKER_02Well, right now I do I do private care in my home. I reapplied to restore my nursing license, and I have been working towards that since about year two of drug court. So about 2022. There's a lot you have to do, and in order for me to do it, it took me about two and a half years. And so when I went before the board, I didn't realize I needed an attorney. So I made a disaster of it. Like I really did. I um wasn't prepared because I just thought I were going and they were gonna stamp it, you know. You you passed all the drug tests, you've done everything we've asked, you've got everything, all of your legal resolved and great people speaking up for you. But I was sitting there by myself and I I realized that very moment I should have had an attorney and the value of attorneys. They denied me. But I did appeal it. I do have an attorney now, and he actually is the one who inspired me to start getting my story, you know, like and that's when I started writing it because he wanted me to tell him and I was you know, not able to speak. I got the appeal and they denied it. They just went on the first orders that were not that denied me. So we're appealing back to the chancery now.
SPEAKER_03Great.
SPEAKER_02We're in the process.
SPEAKER_03So let's give a shout out to folks that are struggling that don't see hope. What would you tell them?
Rebuilding Work And Nursing License Fight
SPEAKER_02That addiction is first of all not a moral failing. It is a disease that has to be treated, that has to be properly treated, that you have a voice. If it's not working for you where you're at, you let 'em know it's not working for you. As long as you're not in legal and even if you are in legal trouble like drug court, I'll I use my voice a lot in drug court and they listened to me as you know, and and did that. But it is possible. I went from eating disorder, tons of food, to alcoholism for 20 years to Crystal Matthews every day for five years for sure. And I'm 53 years old, and I almost got to the point of no return.
SPEAKER_03Well, I'm those I'm so thankful that you didn't, because you're a beautiful person, and you're going to have a beautiful, beautiful life ahead.
SPEAKER_02Thank you. I feel like I will. I'm really excited about it.
SPEAKER_03You should be. Thanks so much for joining me. And I just pray that God will use what we've said today to encourage folks out there. If you're struggling, don't lose hope. There are people out there that love you and want to help. If you are helping folks that are struggling, whether it be addiction or poverty or all of us struggle. And I'm so thankful that we get the opportunity to love on one another and encourage one another because everyone needs someone to care about them. And that's when hope can really rise in Mississippi. Thank y'all for joining us, and Lori, God bless you. You are precious.
SPEAKER_02Thank you for having me.
SPEAKER_00Hope, Mississippi.
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